Vibing Through The Apocalypse Candle

Vibing Through The Apocalypse Candle

If you love dark humor, sarcasm, and candles that say what everyone else is thinking, the Savage & Sarcastic Candle Collection is for you. Explore our witty, laugh-worthy candles and find the perfect scent to match your mood.

Light it. Laugh. Repeat.

✨ Why You'll Love It

• Hand-poured premium wax candle
• Strong, long-lasting fragrance
• Funny sarcastic label design
• Perfect gag gift or birthday gift
• Great for coworkers, friends, or yourself

🎁 Perfect For

• Funny birthday gifts
• White elephant gifts
• Coworker gifts
• Sarcastic friends
• Stress relief with humor

Why Choose Twisted Jades?

★ Darkly Enchanting – Handcrafted in the Shadows
★ Natural Coconut-Soy Wax – Clean Burning, Sinisterly Smooth
★ Eco-Friendly & Cruelty-Free – No Souls Were Harmed in the Making
★ Scent That Haunts the Room – No Faint Whispers Here

Ingredients: Coconut-Soy Wax, Wax Dye, Cotton Wicks, Premium Fragrance Oils.

⚠️ Burn with Caution

🔥 Never leave burning candles unattended – flames have a will of their own
🔥 Burn on a stable, heat-safe surface away from drafts and chaos
🔥 Trim wick to 1/4" before each use
🔥 Do not burn more than 4 hours at a time
🔥 Discontinue use when 1/4" of wax remains—tempting fate isn't worth it
🔥 Keep away from children, pets, and cursed objects

🔥 For the Best Burn: Coconut wax may cling to the sides of the jar at first, but fear not—it will melt down evenly as the candle burns. For optimal performance, always allow the entire top layer to fully liquefy during the first burn to prevent tunneling. Each candle is handcrafted and one-of-a-kind—no two flames dance the same.

🔥 Burn Time:
7oz: Approx. 35–50 Hours 
13oz: Approx. 60–80 Hours 

WARNING – Heed These Words or Risk the Consequences

⚠️ Trim wick to 1/4 inch before each use.
⚠️ Burn on a heat-safe, stable surface within sight—darkness watches when you don't.
⚠️ Keep away from flammables, drafts, children, and creatures of the night.
⚠️ Never burn for more than 4 hours at a time.
⚠️ Keep wax free of debris, wick trimmings, or cursed objects.
⚠️ Discontinue use when 1/4 inch of wax remains—lest you summon unintended forces.
⚠️ Do not move while burning or when wax is hot—lest you tempt fate.

Because sometimes the best therapy is lighting a candle and laughing at life.